You're listening to empowerment and all that podcast your favorite podcast for women's empowerment hosted by Rita Bautista. It's time to be reminded of the authority of your inner goddess and elevate the power within. Are you ready? And we're back with another episode of empowerment and all that. I'm your host Rita Bautista. And today I'm talking about the four letter word. This four letter word has some soul crushing abilities. Now I'm not talking about the fuck word. I'm talking about fear. Now, for those of us who are wondering why I chose this topic today, I had a really interesting Revelation the other day. I was Looking back on the last six months and how much has unfolded in front of me. And I realized that in the last six months when I finally got to a point where getting over fear, and just pushing forward anyway, allowed me to basically create and do anything I wanted. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I've never had a problem with fear. I've always allowed people to keep me in the backseat, or allowed my insecurities to be the person who drove me throughout my life. But once I finally ripped off the band aid, I learned that this four letter word, this word that used to handicap me and keep me in my own personal jail. It really, it really didn't matter anymore. It took the backseat and I started to learn how to drive my car. But here's the thing. Let's talk about this right? Why do we allow fear to become such a huge part of our lives? A good percentage of this comes from other people's perceptions. What do other people think about you? And you know what's really interesting? It makes me think about the time when I was in high school, at high school graduation, when they tell you to look to the left and to the right, and that nine out of 10 of these people won't be in your life forever. When I was 17 years old, I would have thought that that truth was not real that every single person that I was good friends with that every family member that I was super close with that they would be in my life, and I don't mean, completely gone. But what I'm saying is, is that life continues moving forward. And while you're doing that, while you're creating, and you're doing all these things, those people they say slowly start to disappear. Some just naturally, because it's just life, they go off and they have their own families, some because you fall out with them, others because you stopped having the same things in common with each other. So isn't it interesting that we can allow other people's perceptions when most of them disappear anyway? You allow their perceptions to take control of your life. So why not allow for their perceptions to take a backseat? Another reason that fear is such a controlling part of our lives is because you're afraid to fail. You allow your insecurities to win every single time. So here's the thing about failure, right? If you fail 10 times and you get up 11. During those 10 times that you failed, you learned that be stronger and smarter, and you feel better every time. And the thing is, is that you can never learn to be a master of anything, unless you've gone through some tribulations. That can be true with relationships, and understanding the cyclical part of relationships. So if your husband pisses you off today, it doesn't mean that you're just going to throw him out with the bathwater. It means that tomorrow, hopefully, he'll learn how to treat you better, or you'll learn how to deal with that situation differently. And you'll approach it with a different perception. But you don't get rid of things and you don't just completely let them go just because you failed. You go back at it tomorrow, and the next day, and hopefully, by the third day, you've learned how to get over your fear of failing because you just continue going forward. So for most of you guys, y'all don't know what I do regularly professional So I work as a rep in healthcare out here in Houston. And before that I was actually in lobbying. So I was doing government relations. And when I moved from that, from my career when I changed careers, right, I moved from basically knowing everyone and everything to a completely different industry, and a completely different plan of attack for work. So I go into about, I don't know, 50 6070 100 offices a week, probably probably more than that. And in every single one of those offices, there are 7000 personalities that I'm dealt with. Now, for anyone who has ever been a rep, it can be extremely intimidating if you don't understand the industry, and you're going at it every day talking to 70 people who have the ability to reject you, every single day. And the one thing that I learned about that is, is that if I didn't get over my fear of failing in this position, and get over my fear of other people's perceptions immediately, I was going to fall flat on my ass. And I was going to fail at what I was doing. So what I had to do, I had 100 people, hundred people out of phase every week, right? And I'm not telling you guys all to pick up a new profession and start talking to 100 people daily, but I'll tell you, one thing you learn really fast is it's not necessarily about building thick skin, but it's about learning how to maneuver past the rejection a lot faster. So I basically had a fast forward approach to getting over rejection moving past failure. Getting up when I was told no, I was like, okay, whatever. I have another chance to try again tomorrow or also See you next week, and not allowing somebody rejection today to allow me to think that their rejection is going to be the same tomorrow. Look, we don't wear the same underwear every day, let alone have the same attitudes every day. So if you approach a person the next day, who's rejected you the first time, or the second time or the third time, ladies, you can probably think back at that boyfriend that was relentless until you finally gave in. But you know, it's basically your approach, right? If you know that you're determined to do something. And you push through your fear of failure, and you do it anyway. Your chances of succeeding are so much higher, because you took a chance on yourself. And here's the thing, like I said earlier, if you don't try, if you don't give yourself the ability to fail, you're allowing yourself securities to win, and you're failing yourself every single time. The only person that you have to be honest to in this entire world is the person that looks back at you in the mirror. How long are you going to sit here and fail yourself? Now, the other thing about fear that I think is really interesting about the human psyche is that for some reason or another, when we're pursuing something, and we get too close to getting it, sometimes we stop in our tracks, not because we failed, not because we got our prize. But because we're afraid of what's going to happen when we get it. We're afraid of succeeding. Isn't that sad? That you're getting that close. You're getting really, really close to hitting your goal and then you stop because you feel as though the moment that you get that and me That you're gonna have to stop being lazy. It means you have to get off your ass, and actually work a little bit harder and put forth more effort into yourself. And that's the thing about fear. The fear that you keep, keeps you from living in the best light that you can, it stops you from being the best person that you can be. So here's the thing. Obviously, as I mentioned, I've worked in so many different industries at this point in my life, I've probably talked to seen or heard over, maybe, I don't know, 50,000 people, I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm not afraid of people. And I finally learned that through all of these moments in these interactions with people that I learned how to remove fear from my life, and I think it was probably the scariest thing my mother ever had to deal with. I'm just truthfully not afraid of things anymore. And I know that the worst that can happen is my world ends. And that's it. I mean, there's nothing worse that can happen. And what's the worst literally the worst that can happen to anybody. It's death. And I promise you, that fear isn't going to kill me, what's going to kill me, is the stress that I'm going to have because I didn't execute on the things that I wanted. Or it'll kill me on my deathbed when I'm sitting there at 60. Or, well, geez, not 60 I want to live 200. But anyway, when I'm sitting on my deathbed, and I'm like, Oh, my God, think about all those things I didn't accomplish. And if you keep doing that, you're just going to end up bitter and just like remorseful of everything that you didn't accomplish in your life because you were too lazy to get off your ass and do it. So here's the thing, I got a solution for you. Because the only way to truly Get over your fears is to get off your ass and get into motion. And I'm here to tell you that it's time to let that shit go. So the good thing is, is I'm here to tell you that there is a solution and it's time to let the fear go. In honor of spring, I'm actually going to host my very first workshop. It's going to be a virtual one and it's called time to kick fears ass. Let's spring into action. The workshop is going to be held on March 21 2020. And if you're interested you can find out more information at empowerment and all that calm or you can shoot me an email Bautista.email@example.com. With the header "I'm ready to kick fear in the ass!" Thanks for tuning in to empowerment and all that podcast with your host Rita Bautista. Want to help me grow the listener tribe. Make sure to subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram www.instagram.com/empowermentandallthat and Facebook www.facebook.com/empowermentandallthat . And remember, "keep it positive or don't keep it at all!"